UPDATE Part II: Muslimicity in Salt Lake

I would be lying at this point, if I kept up the hopeful charade of jump-starting this community into action  and developing a more united Ummah with services that extend our religion to our lives and our community, both Muslim and non-Muslim. I know that some who read this may not be pleased with what I have to say, but I am being honest and completely open with my experience in this Community. I apologize in advance if you do not like what I see but please keep in mind this is my experience and my perspective.
      A few months ago, I began talking about how we need to be out there, and visible, and active, doing good deeds and becoming known in our community as good people. When the women from the Muslim community got together with the Women of Wasatch, I was not quite understanding why the Islamic Society of Salt Lake was not involved in any way, and I initially had some concerns with doing something while maybe they were also planning a thank you but not announcing it (as is often the case with them, not announcing some things). When things remained quiet from the Society, I began to wonder what it is the Society DOES do.  I sent an email to the Imam at Khadeeja Masjid and one to the Imam at Utah Islamic Center. A copy of the letter I sent is here. As you can see from the response, I was (in a very long and winding way) told thank you and good luck! My note to the Imam at UIC was a lot shorter and just asked if there were any services offered to the community or any food assistance or anything of the sort. Here was the response I received from him :

"As-salam-u-alikum,

 

Dear Sister,

 

We do not have a social service program, such as the one you mentioned on an ongoing basis. We might have a food drive in the Holy Month of Ramadan, but that is about all.

 

We can certainly discuss what you have in mind. As a start, UIC would surely like to have something that helps the needy in our communities as well as other communities."

      I was elated to have received such a response. it was exactly what I could hope for. of course my letter to IS was posted several weeks later on the site. The Imam at UIC responded right away. Now to make a VERY, VERY, VERY long story short, I will condense it A LOT, and give you the edited and polished version of the events over the last 6 months.

      In an attempt to establish some sort of community and activity and partially to correct the incorrect information on the Utah Muslims website, I established an ongoing communication with the President of the Islamic Society. Through this communication, I found out that because of a feud and a split in the community a few years ago, there is a fierce division of "sides" if you will, and a great political wound that appears to not be healing,  but instead festering and poisoning the community. At the time I started this communication with him, I did not feel this way. I imagined that time had passed, there were so many new people to the community that have nothing to do with the politics or the divide, there are converts coming in on a constant basis, we have a great need to fill in the community and with Muslims being in the spotlight so much we really need to do some good. I thought maybe they were just unaware of how big the community is (which I still believe), and maybe just don't have the resources to assist and need volunteers or SOMETHING. I had one very disturbing meeting with him, and since then, (even though he promised action and a meeting with me to discuss the community service the sisters wish to contribute), there has been nothing but disappointment and the hesitant realization that what I have been told and what I feared about this Society is correct. And even worse.

      This community is so divided, and until I stepped inside I had no idea. There are so many feuds, besides the 'big" one that split the city, so many separated masjids (mostly by race, Turkish, Iraqi, Somali, Bosnian...no American one though...I am pretty sure that would be considered racist) and so much tension and negativity that it seems impossible to come all together and accomplish anything. Unfortunately that includes doing good for those who are in need, which for me has been the most disappointing experiences I have felt. Maybe it is because I grew up in the Catholic Church where feuding is secondary to helping the poor, and helping the poor is a top and well practiced priority within the congregation, that my disappointment cuts so deep. Alhumdulillah for the small circle of people I have around me that have cared for me and my daughter and welcomed us with open arms into the Muslim Community. Our lives would not be the same without them, and I am sure my experience with the religion would not be the same without them either. Because without those core people, my experience, I am almost ashamed to say, has not been so wonderful in dealing with this community here in Salt Lake City, Utah (That's a blog post for a later day). I have to be completely honest...things here are a mess. More than just a mess. A tangled, sticky, gooey, stain. Unity? Compassion? Kindness? Mercy? Charity? These are the things my religion is based on...where are they in this community?

UPDATE Part I: Me

I have so much to say at this point...I am not sure where to start. I think I will update my life first and then in a series of other posts I will update the rest as I tend to be long and rambling. :)

Mohamed went back to Egypt for a bit. Life without him is definitely rough. I was alone before but somehow it's not the same. Not when you have someone literally step in to your life, scoop you up and fix everything they can, make you safe, make sure you are comfortable, give you everything you need not just to survive but to survive well...and then "poof" , gone. But it's ok. I see and talk to him several times every day, he is amazing like that. And inshallah it won't be long before he is back. Going to Egypt is apparently not an option at the moment. Those of you that have known me forever have to laugh at the fact that once I am in a position to ACTUALLY get to live in the Middle East ( EGYPT nonetheless...never could I have imagined I would be so lucky), a revolution breaks out...in probably one of the only places my friends and family would have been comfortable with me going. Oh the irony. :P Anyway, life goes on right? So I still work my Cafe job and I picked up another at a sushi place close by so time tends to fly. And that is pretty much it for me. SSDD. I wish more people had blogs where I could update myself on them. But my life is an open book, I know others don't quite feel the same, but it'd be nice to know what everyone was really doing and really up to. ♥

Married

A man named Mohamed came into my life recently, and he changed everything, forever in a very short amount of time. He is younger than me, and when we met, I am pretty sure neither of us had a thought that we would ever feel more about each other than just friends, but one day it just changed. I don't know how, I am not even sure why, but it did. We cared about each other more than we expected. When we both realized this, he said that we should get married, so we can legitimately be together, and he can help take care of Jordan and me, and I said yes. And to be honest, the moment my feelings for him became more than I thought they would, everything else just fell into place. He is such a good guy, and so good to me and my daughter. He cares about us, actually CARES and shows it, doesn't just ask me to trust when he says he does. He is smart and ambitious...very ambitious, and capable. He loves his mother, he loves his religion, he loves his country and culture (he is Egyptian;)) and he has a heart of gold. He has already changed our lives for the MUCH MUCH BETTER....but I digress...I'll move it forward.
      On Thursday he called and told me we will get married on Saturday. He was not joking. We went to our beloved Imam's house and got married there, with our 2 witnesses and each other. We just did it. I am a little surprised myself, but honestly it was so perfect. It has only been us since the start, we don't want to be a couple unless we are married, we don't have a ton of money to have a big event, and neither of us have family here. So it was appropriate that we did it just ourselves. It was all really so perfect. After we went to the park with the Imam and his wife and kids and that is it. It was beautiful, and simple and perfect. He took care of everything, and I absolutely adore him. I am so happy and so ready for this chapter in my life to begin. I have been waiting for so long to give the love I have in my heart to a man that deserves it. Mohamed does.   
     

So there was another article on Saturday and there are two women who I know and love interviewed in it. Wow, what a week for the Muslim community!!! Read the article here.

Thursday, May 5th Maysa (one of my favorite women on earth) organized a thank you luncheon for the Women Of Wasatch Presbytarian Church. Women from the congregation that bought Qurans to have distributed at bookstores with a bookmark saying they were not afraid of truth wherever it can be found.
It was short notice so only a few of us were able to attend, however it was really a great experience. I wish I had been better prepared, I didn't get any one's email our give mine out. We did decide we would do this again so I suppose I can do it next time. I didn't realize it was going to be so well documented by the media. I thought there was going to be something about the Women's meeting since there was a photographer and writer at the last meeting. I'm glad it was so well covered, it will get us out there and we can begin a good relationship with the other people of faith who have made a gesture of peace towards us. I am so excited and so happy to see something wonderful beginning!
Here is a link to that article:
www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/51761532-78/muslim-women-quran-church.html.csp

Osama

I in my living room when my friend Mohamed read the news on the phone.
" Wait, they are saying Bin Laden is dead", he said.
At first I didn't believe it. I frantically searched for the remote knowing full well that there would be a Special Report and interruption of regularly scheduled programming. When I turned on the TV it was all over every station. Osama Bin Laden is dead. I admit, I did feel a surge of joy, I felt a moment of happiness...well, to be honest it was longer than a moment. I watched the president speak, and applauded loudly when he emphasized that we are not at war with Islam, and that Osama was not a Muslim leader, but rather a mass murderer of Muslims. I felt tears for the 9/11 victims, and when they showed yet again the planes crashing into those towers, my stomach, as always, turned and my heart sank.
      I know I am going to get a lot of poo for saying this but I am going to say it. I did not like seeing people celebrating so happily. I know he was a bad man. I know the world is a better place without him. but I do not feel like celebrating and rejoicing is human of me. It sucks that ANY of this has happened. I think a more appropriate response would have been to act a little more dignified about it. How...I don't know, but some of the things I saw when watching the people celebrate just didn't feel right to me. I would say the same for the celebration of the death of anybody. A quote I have been seeing pop up all day struck me in the heart when I did...because it sums up perfectly what I am trying to say...


"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." --Martin Luther King, Jr.

Maybe they ARE right...

I have been listening for so long, and getting defensive and upset for so long, over the same things that are said in the media, in group discussions, by people around me in real life about the same subject over and over again, that finally the light bulb went on. The discussion has not so much been about my religion itself (although at it's core the subject I am talking about has led to constant discussion about Islam), as it has been about what Muslims are doing (or rather NOT doing) to stop the fanatics, and the terrorists. There seems to be a general consensus in the United States of America that the "silence" of Muslims (specifically American Muslims) is simple, quiet complacency with the beliefs and actions of the radicalized few. So much so that now WE are the suspects.
      For years now, we have been hearing the same thing from the public and the media. They say we don't do anything to condemn the terrorists, we don't say anything about the fact that they are using our religion to kill. Every time I heard this, or heard someone ask why we don't stand up against terrorism, I got angry. This last time, hearing a discussion panel talk about Muslims in America, I got angry again. But this time a light bulb went on somewhere. I felt something different than before. A light turned on and I thought to myself, "maybe they are right". "Educating" people about Islam doesn't work ( since the only people who seem to be interested in learning more about this religion they do not know are generally NOT the same people who NEED the education), our President reminding us we are NOT at war with Islam doesn't work, reminding our fellow Americans that we are ALSO AMERICANS doesn't work...so what is going to? I realized in that moment that the only thing that will work is US coming out of the woodwork and showing our communities who we are. Being reachable, being active, being noticed...being KNOWN.
      So my appeal is to all my Muslim friends...no matter how religious you are, no matter if you wear hijab or not, if you pray every day or not, you are still a Muslim, and we need to be out there, we need to be active and we need to change the direction this country is headed in regards to Islam and Muslims. So what are we going to do about it? What should we do about it? ANSWER...I WANT ANSWERS...I WANT IDEAS...SO GIMME SOME!!!!!

     
     

Short Anwer to the Question

    I have neglected this blog, neglected my email (so bad), neglected my facebook (turns out not to be so bad), neglected my friends (bad) and neglected what little social life I had, but it has all taken it's toll and it's time to snap out of the fog and get back to earth. The last 5 or 6 months have been kinda wacky, and I am sure the wackiness will still abound for the next few more, and I am just going to have to suck it up and deal with it. Right? Anyway....back on track, I have been asked a few times the last couple months about my conversion and I realize I still have not answered the question here so I should just get down to it. Why did I convert? What about Islam made me choose this as my path? Well, in short I can single out 2 most major reasons above all else (though there are a lot more).
     First, my inherent belief in ONE God, with no others like Him, and certainly no human equal. This is the most important for me. ONE GOD. That's it, the end, buh-bye. Pretty simple concept.
      Second, that one God is the only judge of me. The only judge of my actions, the only judge of my intentions and the only possible being that could ever truly know my heart. There is no one between me and God and no one  I have to go through to reach Him. My relationship with Him is close and personal and real.
      For now, that's my short answer to the Question. There really is lot more and deeper and meaningful things about the process that I really will discuss but in short this is it. Oh wait...I can add something else you might think is just lame but whatever...#3) I didn't have to give up Jesus. (PBUH). Best part for me. Silly to you maybe, but my attachment to Jesus was just not something that could have been undone. Though I never thought he was a God, or like God...I knew he was a real man and that he existed and that he brought  a beautiful message with him. He was a man we could model ourselves after in order to be better people. To convert to Islam, did not mean abandoning my faith or love in Jesus. And that was HUGE for me.