Married

A man named Mohamed came into my life recently, and he changed everything, forever in a very short amount of time. He is younger than me, and when we met, I am pretty sure neither of us had a thought that we would ever feel more about each other than just friends, but one day it just changed. I don't know how, I am not even sure why, but it did. We cared about each other more than we expected. When we both realized this, he said that we should get married, so we can legitimately be together, and he can help take care of Jordan and me, and I said yes. And to be honest, the moment my feelings for him became more than I thought they would, everything else just fell into place. He is such a good guy, and so good to me and my daughter. He cares about us, actually CARES and shows it, doesn't just ask me to trust when he says he does. He is smart and ambitious...very ambitious, and capable. He loves his mother, he loves his religion, he loves his country and culture (he is Egyptian;)) and he has a heart of gold. He has already changed our lives for the MUCH MUCH BETTER....but I digress...I'll move it forward.
      On Thursday he called and told me we will get married on Saturday. He was not joking. We went to our beloved Imam's house and got married there, with our 2 witnesses and each other. We just did it. I am a little surprised myself, but honestly it was so perfect. It has only been us since the start, we don't want to be a couple unless we are married, we don't have a ton of money to have a big event, and neither of us have family here. So it was appropriate that we did it just ourselves. It was all really so perfect. After we went to the park with the Imam and his wife and kids and that is it. It was beautiful, and simple and perfect. He took care of everything, and I absolutely adore him. I am so happy and so ready for this chapter in my life to begin. I have been waiting for so long to give the love I have in my heart to a man that deserves it. Mohamed does.   
     

So there was another article on Saturday and there are two women who I know and love interviewed in it. Wow, what a week for the Muslim community!!! Read the article here.

Thursday, May 5th Maysa (one of my favorite women on earth) organized a thank you luncheon for the Women Of Wasatch Presbytarian Church. Women from the congregation that bought Qurans to have distributed at bookstores with a bookmark saying they were not afraid of truth wherever it can be found.
It was short notice so only a few of us were able to attend, however it was really a great experience. I wish I had been better prepared, I didn't get any one's email our give mine out. We did decide we would do this again so I suppose I can do it next time. I didn't realize it was going to be so well documented by the media. I thought there was going to be something about the Women's meeting since there was a photographer and writer at the last meeting. I'm glad it was so well covered, it will get us out there and we can begin a good relationship with the other people of faith who have made a gesture of peace towards us. I am so excited and so happy to see something wonderful beginning!
Here is a link to that article:
www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/51761532-78/muslim-women-quran-church.html.csp

Osama

I in my living room when my friend Mohamed read the news on the phone.
" Wait, they are saying Bin Laden is dead", he said.
At first I didn't believe it. I frantically searched for the remote knowing full well that there would be a Special Report and interruption of regularly scheduled programming. When I turned on the TV it was all over every station. Osama Bin Laden is dead. I admit, I did feel a surge of joy, I felt a moment of happiness...well, to be honest it was longer than a moment. I watched the president speak, and applauded loudly when he emphasized that we are not at war with Islam, and that Osama was not a Muslim leader, but rather a mass murderer of Muslims. I felt tears for the 9/11 victims, and when they showed yet again the planes crashing into those towers, my stomach, as always, turned and my heart sank.
      I know I am going to get a lot of poo for saying this but I am going to say it. I did not like seeing people celebrating so happily. I know he was a bad man. I know the world is a better place without him. but I do not feel like celebrating and rejoicing is human of me. It sucks that ANY of this has happened. I think a more appropriate response would have been to act a little more dignified about it. How...I don't know, but some of the things I saw when watching the people celebrate just didn't feel right to me. I would say the same for the celebration of the death of anybody. A quote I have been seeing pop up all day struck me in the heart when I did...because it sums up perfectly what I am trying to say...


"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." --Martin Luther King, Jr.

Maybe they ARE right...

I have been listening for so long, and getting defensive and upset for so long, over the same things that are said in the media, in group discussions, by people around me in real life about the same subject over and over again, that finally the light bulb went on. The discussion has not so much been about my religion itself (although at it's core the subject I am talking about has led to constant discussion about Islam), as it has been about what Muslims are doing (or rather NOT doing) to stop the fanatics, and the terrorists. There seems to be a general consensus in the United States of America that the "silence" of Muslims (specifically American Muslims) is simple, quiet complacency with the beliefs and actions of the radicalized few. So much so that now WE are the suspects.
      For years now, we have been hearing the same thing from the public and the media. They say we don't do anything to condemn the terrorists, we don't say anything about the fact that they are using our religion to kill. Every time I heard this, or heard someone ask why we don't stand up against terrorism, I got angry. This last time, hearing a discussion panel talk about Muslims in America, I got angry again. But this time a light bulb went on somewhere. I felt something different than before. A light turned on and I thought to myself, "maybe they are right". "Educating" people about Islam doesn't work ( since the only people who seem to be interested in learning more about this religion they do not know are generally NOT the same people who NEED the education), our President reminding us we are NOT at war with Islam doesn't work, reminding our fellow Americans that we are ALSO AMERICANS doesn't work...so what is going to? I realized in that moment that the only thing that will work is US coming out of the woodwork and showing our communities who we are. Being reachable, being active, being noticed...being KNOWN.
      So my appeal is to all my Muslim friends...no matter how religious you are, no matter if you wear hijab or not, if you pray every day or not, you are still a Muslim, and we need to be out there, we need to be active and we need to change the direction this country is headed in regards to Islam and Muslims. So what are we going to do about it? What should we do about it? ANSWER...I WANT ANSWERS...I WANT IDEAS...SO GIMME SOME!!!!!

     
     

Short Anwer to the Question

    I have neglected this blog, neglected my email (so bad), neglected my facebook (turns out not to be so bad), neglected my friends (bad) and neglected what little social life I had, but it has all taken it's toll and it's time to snap out of the fog and get back to earth. The last 5 or 6 months have been kinda wacky, and I am sure the wackiness will still abound for the next few more, and I am just going to have to suck it up and deal with it. Right? Anyway....back on track, I have been asked a few times the last couple months about my conversion and I realize I still have not answered the question here so I should just get down to it. Why did I convert? What about Islam made me choose this as my path? Well, in short I can single out 2 most major reasons above all else (though there are a lot more).
     First, my inherent belief in ONE God, with no others like Him, and certainly no human equal. This is the most important for me. ONE GOD. That's it, the end, buh-bye. Pretty simple concept.
      Second, that one God is the only judge of me. The only judge of my actions, the only judge of my intentions and the only possible being that could ever truly know my heart. There is no one between me and God and no one  I have to go through to reach Him. My relationship with Him is close and personal and real.
      For now, that's my short answer to the Question. There really is lot more and deeper and meaningful things about the process that I really will discuss but in short this is it. Oh wait...I can add something else you might think is just lame but whatever...#3) I didn't have to give up Jesus. (PBUH). Best part for me. Silly to you maybe, but my attachment to Jesus was just not something that could have been undone. Though I never thought he was a God, or like God...I knew he was a real man and that he existed and that he brought  a beautiful message with him. He was a man we could model ourselves after in order to be better people. To convert to Islam, did not mean abandoning my faith or love in Jesus. And that was HUGE for me. 

OK..I'm back!!!

Bet ya thought I would give it up...I know I lag...but the last couple weeks have been rough, and dramatic, and life altering, so please forgive me. I'm not abandoning this blog...I didn't mean to abandon the Cairo blog for so long...life is sometimes so hectic...and frankly at the moment I'm having a hard time pulling those memories out...but that is another story. Right now, my Mom is here, she finally arrived...which is really good, and pretty life changing for both of us. All three of us actually.
      I'm not letting this blog die because I really do want to express how I feel, and I really want to promote a better understanding of Islam, and I do want to answer those questions..which by the way, if you ever have specific ones, don't hesitate to ask me...I will answer you to the best of my ability. Wow I sound like a robot lecturer. Anyway, lately, in the midst of all this squabbling over the Islamic Center in New York, and with my mother coming to live with me and with a few other things in my life that have happened, I am really now more than ever having to be tested with how deep, and how true my faith lies. I want to tell you about Ramadan and what an amazing experience it has been so far, (and I know what I have experienced is nothing compared to what the bigger groups of Muslim communities experience during this time). I have fasted quite a bit, but since my Mom came I have not. Easier to keep the peace...even though I feel horrible and sort of guilty about it. I also want to talk a little...very little about the Islamic Center in NY. And I want to talk about how my friend Maryam was right...mothers are ok with the idea that their daughters are Muslims...but seeing a hijab changes everything.
However, right now, I don't have the time to go into all of it. But I had to say something since I stopped keeping up. So tonight I'll come back. And let it out. ;)