The Journey Continues...

My journey has not been what I imagined. I thought the rough seas were the outside world...struggling to stay afloat outside the Muslim Community would be the hard part. While it certainly has it's challenges, it is by far not the hard part ( for me). The rough seas for me have been the inner pool of the community. Struggling to keep my faith, my smile, my heart softened...I have found the hardest parts of this journey have been from within the place I thought I would be finding comfort, tolerance, forgiveness, and inclusiveness. At this point in the road...peace is elusive. And I am not supposed to talk about. We don't talk about our problems, we don't share them with the outside world...we just let it be and we stay silent. I was convinced that for the sake of my religion and just because this is how things are done that it was ok. It was somewhat easier to keep my mouth shut, my feelings to myself and try and make a change in order to report back the goodness that has been found. But I do not think that anymore, and I do not believe my staying silent IS the right thing to do. 

      I am sharing this ride, documenting every piece and I stopped doing that when things got complicated and messy and I didn't want to start any fires. Now I wish I had that back up and all those entries I lost about the workings and the events and the complicated politics of the Society here. Most of it is fresh, it's only been a year since things started being complicated (for ME anyway)...but still, I want the look back to be untainted by the feelings I have in the NOW. Because there are a lot of good things about the Muslim Community here. And no matter what goes on with the tainted few that ruin that ruin the bunch...that is the part I want people to take from this experience of mine. The GOOD in the Ummah. I am going to post everyday, document like my intention was in the first place...catch up the recent events. Because even though there is fodder for some good drama, there are some amazing people and wonderful things right in there with it. I want ALL of it noted down, taken in, sensed by those who see this. I firmly believe we can turn things around and make this a functioning, active society fully contributing to the communities in which we live, through simple *sadaqa (for you Muslims, remember even a smile can be sadaqa). Which is really the best form of *dawah.

If you have stayed tuned, you know about the ooey gooey mess that I was discovering this community is. Our (Utah's Muslimahs) efforts to jump start some good works (NECESSARY works in this community) and some community cohesion seemed to be sort of working. Sort of. I should have gone with my gut and ran away after my first and only meeting with the Islamic Society's President. He rules the Society with an iron fist, he has a complete disregard and utmost disrespect for the members of the community...especially it seems American women. He is the one who said to form a group of women and report back and we can get started on some things the women and converts and other community members would like to get going. He blew me off for a year. We organized somewhat anyway, and now we are being accused of all sorts of "misdeeds" and being punished by having our meetings and our community center taken away.
      The women have been sporadically locked out of the masjid (a house next to the men's masjid bought specifically for the women's use) on Friday evenings, and when I asked why and how to solve it and refused a demand to be "cross-examined"  (his words) for something they would not tell me about on a day we had plans..I promptly got told I was upset and disrespectful, and my name and number and email were taken off the website immediately. 
      We have now been told that the house bought for the women is no longer their masjid. The Friday meetings are now over after this week. They are changing the way we do things and telling us we are not allowed to meet there. I am being accused of raising money for some other masjid (total nonsense), "misleading" the women when I don't lead anything but dessert-time, my child is being talked about (This is partly why this fight is ON now...don't mess with a Mama and her baby), and I am betting I am deemed "not a part of Islamic Society" by it's President. TRY and kick me out. TRY and kick my child out.
      My accusers will not face me, will not say what they are saying behind my back to my face, and WON'T meet with me or talk to me or work with me (that stopped a long time ago anyway). I have the right to be accused to MY FACE, ESPECIALLY by a group of big, bad-ass men. If they are so big and bold and righteous...WHY can they not call me out TO MY FACE??
     This has all only just begun.This time I am documenting all of it. No more waiting around to smooth things over and to see if we can develop some goodness. We are supposed to fight oppression...and actually, when Muslims fight with each other, we should convince other believers to our side (or they must convince us to theirs) until we stand united again. This is the Islamic way. And here is my dalil (proof) 

وَإِنْ طَائِفَتَانِ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ اقْتَتَلُوا فَأَصْلِحُوا بَيْنَهُمَا فَإِنْ بَغَتْ إِحْدَاهُمَا عَلَى الْأُخْرَى فَقَاتِلُوا الَّتِي تَبْغِي حَتَّى تَفِيءَ إِلَى أَمْرِ اللَّهِ فَإِنْ فَاءَتْ فَأَصْلِحُوا بَيْنَهُمَا بِالْعَدْلِ وَأَقْسِطُوا إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُقْسِطِينَ ﴿49:9﴾ 

(49:9) If two parties of the believers happen to fight, *12 make peace between them. *13 But then, if one of them transgresses against the other, fight the one that transgresses *14 until it reverts to Allah’s command. *15And if it does revert, make peace between them with justice, *16 and be equitable for Allah loves the equitable. 

*12 Instead of saying: "When two parties of the believers fight mutually", it has been said: °If two parties of the believers fall to mutual fighting." From these words it by itself follows that mutual fighting is not the character of the Muslims, nor should it be. It is not expected that being the believers they would fight mutually. However, if such a thing ever happens, the procedure that follows should be adopted. Moreover, the word ta 'ifah has been used for a group instead of firqah: the words ta'ifah and firqah in Arabic are used for a large group and a small group respectively. This also shows that it is indeed a highly offensive state in the sight of Allah in which large groups of the Muslims cannot be expected to be involved. *13 The recipients of this Command are all those Muslims who may not be a party to either of the groups and for whom it may be possible to try to make peace between them. In other words, Allah dces not approve that the other Muslims should just sit and watch the clash when two groups of their own community have fallen to mutual fighting. But whenever such a sad situation arises alI the believers should become concerned and should do whatever they can to bring about peace and reconciliation between the parties. They should urge the parties to desist from fighting; they should exhort them to fear God; their influential people should go and talk to the responsible men of the two sides, should find out the causes of the dispute and do whatever they can to effect reconciliation between them. *14 That is, "The Muslims also should not allow the aggressor to continue his aggression and leave the victim alone, or, still worse, join hands with the aggressor. But their duty is that if all their efforts at reconciliation between the parties fail, they should find out as to who is in the right and who is the aggressor. Then they should join hands with the one who is in the right and fight the aggressor. As this fighting has been enjoined by Allah, it is obligatory and comes under Jihad,' it is not the fitnah (mischief) about which the Holy Prophet has said: "It is a situation in which the one standing is bettor than the one moving, and the one sitting is better than the one standing" For that fitnah implies the mutual fighting of the Muslims in which the parties might be fighting out of bigotry, or for a false sense of honour and worldly possessions and neither may be having the truth on its side. As for the fight that is undertaken in support of the group who is in the right against the aggressor, it is not taking part in the fitnah but carrying out Allah's Command. All the jurists arc agreed on its bring an obligation, and there was no difference of opinion among the Holy Prophet's Companions about its being obligatory. (AI-Jassas, Ahkam al-Qur'an). Some jurists even regard it as superior to Jihad itself and their reasoning is that Hadrat 'AIi spent the entire period of his caliphate in fighting against the rebels instead of performing Jihad against the disbelievers. (Ruh al-Ma ani). If a person argues that it was not obligatory because Hadrat `Abdullah bin `Umar and some other Companions had not participated in the wars fought by Hadrat `Ali, he would be in the wrong. Ibn 'Umar himself says: "I have never been so much grieved at heart on anything as on account of this verse as to why I did not fight the rebels as enjoined by Allah. " (Hakim, al-Mustadrik). The Command to "fight" the aggressor does not necessarily mean that he should be fought with the weapons and killed, but it implies the use of force against him, the real object being the removal of his aggression. For this object whatever force is necessary should be used, and no more and no less force should be used than what is absolutely necessary. The addressees of this Command are the people who have the power to repel the aggression by the use of force. *15 This shows that the fighting is not meant to punish the rebel (the aggressing pang) for his rebellion (aggression), but to force him to return to the Command of AIIah. Allah's Command unplies that the rebel group should submit to what isright according to the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of the Messenger of AIIah, and should give up the attitude and conduct that amounts to aggression according to this criterion of the truth. As soon as a rebel group becomes ready and willing to follow this Command, use of force against it should be stopped, for this is the actual object of the fighting and its target. The one who commits an excess after this would himself become the aggressor. As for this as to what is the truth and what is the aggression in a dispute according to the Book of AIIah and the Sunnah of His Messenger, its determination is inevitably the job of those people of the Ummah, who have the ability to carry out research by virtue of their knowledge and insight *16 The Command is not only to make peace but to make peace with justice and equity. This shows that in the sight of AIIah the peace (and reconciliation) which is brought about only to stop fighting, overlooking the distinction between the truth and falsehood, and in which pressure is used against the party that is in the right to come to terms with the aggressor, is not commendable. True peace is that which is based on justice. This alone can avert disaster and mischief; otherwise the inevitable result of pressing those in the right and encouraging the aggressors would be that the real causes of the evil would remain as they were, rather would go on adding up, and cause the mischief to appear and re-appear over and over. (http://www.quranenglish.com/tafheem_quran/049.htm) The last part is what I am talking about at this point. The problems have gone on too long, too many people have been a victim of this "Society"..my story is not a new one..it is as the last line says...." the inevitable result of pressing those in the right and encouraging the aggressors would be that the real causes of the evil would remain as they were, rather would go on adding up, and cause the mischief to appear and re-appear over and over " And THIS is what we have here is Salt Lake City. An UNENDING string of mischief, popping up over and over again...and one factor seems to be the one thing that remains the same in each case. It is time this era of Muslims in this city battling each other for some ridiculous and perceived sense of power comes to a close. I am more than willing to use MY journey as the catalyst to it's overdue END.